Yazmin
Whoever said three minutes isn’t a
long time to wait obviously never had to wait for the results of a home
pregnancy test. I’m trying not to pace back and forth but I can’t help it. I’m
anxious, excited, terrified, and experiencing nausea. I’m rubbing my palms
together, trying to ignore how sweaty they are. I exhale deeply, wanting
desperately to look at the stick resting on the vanity.
I’ve only recently stopped taking my birth control. Jamal
and I never use condoms. Well, we did at first. Those first few months of
dating had me nervous. Who knew I would fall in love with my best friend? It was Jamal who said “I love you” first. It
took me a while.
I was damaged from past relationships. Though I had the love
of friends and family growing up, my own insecurities kept me from experiencing
life. My ex-boyfriends, the few that I did have, played on my lack of
self-esteem. Generally, I wasn’t that desperate be in a relationship, but the
closer I got to thirty, the more I focused on my mission to find “the one.”
Thank God for Jamal, because my ex Brad almost had me make the biggest mistake
of my life. I loved him, but he didn’t have my heart. Not the way Jamal does.
“Babe? What’s going on in there?” I hear Jamal’s voice
through the door.
I practically had to kick him out of the bathroom because
his nerves are worse than mine. I love my husband, but when a man gets “baby
fever,” I think he’s worse than the woman. Jamal is trying to keep calm and be
strong for me, but we’ve been trying for a while now with nothing to show for
it. I hope I’m wrong about the reason I haven’t gotten pregnant. With Jamal
being a fitness expert, he gets his yearly physical like clockwork. According
to his doctor, his “manhood” is intact and everything is working normally. So,
guess what folks—that means it has to be me. I glance at the timer on my phone
and walk to the door so he can hear me clearly.
“About one more minute, Babe,” I reply nervously.
“Did you really have to lock the door?” he asks.
I hope he’s not too annoyed with me. I’ve been a little
unpleasant during this whole “getting pregnant” process. Okay fine, I admit
it—I’ve been more than that. On the other hand, I always apologize so it’s not
like I’m too proud to say I’m wrong. Then again, I have my stubborn moments.
“No, but you’re anxiousness mixed with mine is a bad combination right now.”
He knocks again. “Yazmin, open the door.”
I reluctantly unlock the door but don’t open it. By the time
he walks inside, I’ve sunk to the floor to sit. Our eyes meet and for a second
I see the affection in his brown eyes. Jamal is the most attractive man I’ve
ever laid my eyes on. I’m not just saying that because I’m his wife. Although,
I am partial.
He always looked cute to me, but when we started dating, my
attraction intensified. As kids he was scrawny with little to no muscle, but
now his body is well built. His size suits him. As a fitness instructor, he
takes his health seriously, but he does allow himself the “cheats” in his diet
as he likes to call them. I’ve even been more dedicated to staying healthy
since we’ve been together.
He doesn’t say a
word, but joins me on the floor as we wait. He laces his fingers with mine just
as the timer goes off. I quickly stand to look. My stomach is in knots, and...
Coming soon!! Oceans Deep
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